I've a bundle of limericks here,
But I’ll make it abundantly clear:
If you copy I’ll know
And my fury I’ll show
And such anger is something to fear:
There once was a man called Bill Sears
Whose wax was removed from his ears.
There was only one snag -
His wife’s such a nag,
And her voice, to him, now is quite clear.
A pretty young woman from Dover
Took a walk with her poodle called Rover,
But just in a jiff,
From high on the cliff,
The wind blew her poor doggy over.
There once was a woman called Nancy
Who said: 'There is something I fancy:
Some Yorkshire curd tart,
Though 'tis bad for my heart,
And I mustn't perturb my fiancée.'
There once was a boy from the Gower
Whose poem he wrote in an hour.
I thought this seemed fine,
Till I saw it was mine,
And his prize? My most threatening glower!
A boy with the name Jimmy Blare
Said one day that it didn’t seem fair:
'The limericks I write
Never seem to delight,
And they leave me quite full of despair.'
The Blarney Stone’s famous, you know.
If you lack skill with words you should go:
For a kiss on that stone,
As, to all, is well known,
And your eloquence quickly will grow.
White Wells, high on Ilkley Moor,
Has a bath that will cure you for sure.
Take a dip in their pool -
That is icily cool
And you’ll never return any more.
Limericks are easy to write.
Is your pen and your paper in sight?
So, with no time to waste
Start your writing with haste
And produce one amazingly bright.
Copyright on all my poems