I've a bundle of limericks here,
But I’ll make it abundantly clear:
If you copy I’ll know
And my fury I’ll show
And such anger is something to fear:
There once was a man called Bill Sears
Whose wax was removed from his ears.
There was only one snag -
His wife’s such a nag,
And her voice, to him, now is quite clear.
A pretty young woman from Dover
Took a walk with her poodle called Rover,
But just in a jiff,
From high on the cliff,
The wind blew her poor doggy over.
There once was a woman called Nancy
Who said: “There is something I fancy -
Some Yorkshire curd tart,
Though 'tis bad for me heart,
And I mustn't perturb my fiancée."
There once was a boy from the Gower
Whose poem he wrote in an hour.
I thought this seemed fine,
Till I saw it was mine,
And his prize? My most threatening glower!
A boy with the name Jimmy Blare
Said one day that it didn’t seem fair:
"The limericks I write
Never seem to delight,
And they leave me quite full of despair."
The Blarney Stone’s famous, you know,
If you lack skill with words you should go:
For a kiss on that stone,
As, to all, is well known,
And your eloquence quickly will grow.
White Wells, high upon Ilkley Moor
Has a bath that will cure you for sure.
Take a dip in their pool -
That is icily cool
And you’ll never return any more.
Limericks are easy to write -
Is your pen and your paper in sight?
So, with no time to waste
Start your writing with haste
And produce one amazingly bright.