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I've a bundle of limericks here,

But I’ll make it abundantly clear:

      If you copy I’ll know

     And my fury I’ll show

And such anger is something to fear:

 

There once was a man called Bill Sears

Whose wax was removed from his ears.

     There was only one snag -

     His wife’s such a nag,

And her voice, to him, now is quite clear.

     

A pretty young woman from Dover

Took a walk with her poodle called Rover,

     But just in a jiff,

     From high on the cliff,

The wind blew her poor doggy over.

 

There once was a woman called Nancy

Who said: “There is something I fancy -

       Some Yorkshire curd tart,

       Though 'tis bad for me heart,

And I mustn't perturb my fiancée."

 

There once was a boy from the Gower

Whose poem he wrote in an hour.

      I thought this seemed fine,

      Till I saw it was mine,

And his prize?  My most threatening glower!

 

A boy with the name Jimmy Blare

Said one day that it didn’t seem fair:

     "The limericks I write

       Never seem to delight,

And they leave me quite full of despair."

 

The Blarney Stone’s famous, you know,

If you lack skill with words you should go:

      For a kiss on that stone,

      As, to all, is well known,

And your eloquence quickly will grow.

 

White Wells, high upon Ilkley Moor

Has a bath that will cure you for sure.

     Take a dip in their pool -

      That is icily cool

And you’ll never return any more.

 

Limericks are easy to write -

Is your pen and your paper in sight?

     So, with no time to waste

     Start your writing with haste

And produce one amazingly bright.

 

JOSIE'S POEMS

Limericks

L I M E R I C K S

 

By Josie Whitehead

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