Funny Poems People Poems

I’ll never be a laureate –

    You have to meet the Queen –

And perhaps it’s better that she knows

     I’m read but never seen.


I’ll never be a laureate –

     They don’t want poems that rhyme

And laureates have lots to do

    And I have little time.


I’ll never be a laureate –

     I’m rather shy you see –

And who wants Granny laureates?

     No - not the job for me!


I’ll never be a laureate –

    I’ve wrinkles on my face –

And, having failed the *eleven plus,

    I quickly learned my place.


I’ll never be a laureate –

    My hair is going white –

Though some old folk write poetry

    That brings children delight!


I’ll never be a laureate –

    My teeth are falling out

And laureates are bright and slim

    Whilst I am dim and stout.


 (It's not quite true but it rhymes)


I’ll never be a laureate –

    I’m afraid that I’m not smart.

I struggle with those rhyming words - - -

    And failed 'O' level art.


I’ll never be a laureate -

   My poems are much too clear -

For: 'Analyse this obscure verse,'

    Are words that students fear.  


Well, who wants to be a laureate?

    Oh, after I have died

Perhaps you'll write my epitaph:

    'Her words went far and wide.'



Copyright on all my poems



* The 11 plus was an exam that children took at 11 years of age, to determine whether you went to Grammar school or to a Secondary Modern School.  They said it was a measure of one's IQ.  I failed it. Hmmm  So I taught for many years and now write poetry with my low IQ! hmmm  Don't believe them!



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By Josie Whitehead