Funny Poems Skype Visits

It's Sports Day in our village

     And the grannies are prepared.

They’ve trained each day for weeks on end

     And none of them are scared.

 

Their mobility scooter wheels are oiled.

     Their brakes have all been checked.

They’ve practised in town gardens and

     Some flower beds have been wrecked.

 

Gran Ramsay’s had her hair dyed blonde -

     She wants to look her best!

Her potential’s running in top gear -

     There’s been no time for rest.

 

Her rival’s well aware of her.

    She’s dyed her hair purple.

Her mobility scooter’s serviced well,

     And will see her nicely through.

 

They’re waiting on the starting line,

     Their scooters side by side.

Their families all have gathered there,

     And beam at them with pride.

 

The scooters now are revving up,

     Down goes the starting flag

And Granny Braithwaite’s in the lead

     Still clutching at her bag.

 

They’re on the second bend at last,

     And racing neck and neck.

Two scooters have collided though.

     They’re both a total wreck.

 

Their passengers are both quite safe –

     Well that is nice to know –

But the final lap’s now coming up.

     Just see those scooters go!!

 

Oh!  I can’t believe what’s going on:

     This surely can’t be true –

One gran has brought her walking stick,

     And is striking her way through.

 

She’s driven others from the track.

     She’s made them all look fools!

Oh surely this can’t be allowed –

     So the judges search the rules.

 

Well she’s first across the finishing line

     And a winner, it’s quite plain.

But she’s flouted every bloomin’ rule

     So they must start the race again.

 

 

Coppyright on all my poems

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